1001 Nights

Can we laugh at death?

(Random thoughts with no grammer check)

I hate death.  It’s people biggest fear. People say Fear of public speaking is number one, but I say, If I put a gun to your head and ask you to speak to a large crowd, you’ll do it better than Obama, and without a monitor.

I miss the ones that died. I wish they were still here with us. My dad was 66 when he died. Not really old. We sympathize based on the age of the deceased. If they’re young it’s very painful but if they’re older it’s easier. If a 90 year old dies, people go:  You should’ve known. If they’re young, you say He or she were so young.

Some die slowly and prepare for it. They get sick for a while then go. It makes it easier on the loved ones. Others leave suddenly. No preparation or announcements. That’s a shocker.

What’s neat is the dead person doesn’t feel sad anymore.

All faiths covered the idea of death; some believe that you will leave this earth to a much better place. Now that is good to believe unless you live in Maui. Others believe you will come back, but as a different living form. If good, you’ll be back as a human again, if not, a mouse, a monkey or a cow.

Some believe Heaven will be a big party. A never ending party, which requires having Alcohol and Disco music in Heaven. As a result, we will trash heaven. I’ve never been to a party that the house looked the same after few hours. There will be rejections, gossip, and Police breaking up the party.

Some believe that when we get to heaven we’ll all be dressed in White and it’s all going to be white just like a Tide Commercial. Others believe that you’re gone once and for all. You’re not coming back. Credits will run then the End.

We do Eulogies for the deceased. It’s when his or her friends talk about how wonderful the deceased were when he was alive, but it would be great for the deceased to have a Thank you farewell speech. It will sound like a Grammy award speech: “I’d like to thank my parents, my spouse, my kids, my 4^th grade teacher….”

What a blessing it is not to know when we’re leaving. Otherwise it will be hard to not to RSVP to someone’s Farewell party. Also it will be difficult to stay mad at someone who you know has two more weeks to go.

Some people believe you will get to purgatory with Peter as the Home Owners Association board chair. He will be standing at the Gate. Do you think Good saints have a remote gate opener?

Some believe that they will not make it anywhere good. Some believe in Hell. Hell is a place of torment, pain, and suffering. Just like the DMV.

Others believe that there is no Hell. That everyone good or bad is going to be at the party in Heaven.

When people don’t like you, they say Go to Hell. But if someone likes you they will never say: Go to Heaven, since the idea of leaving this earth is not favorable.

Some believe that we will all be back together in a better place. If you have to choose your own heaven what would it be? It will have everything you shared in your wedding vows.  A place of no sickness but health.  A richer not poorer, better not worse until death do us part.

I hold to the Biblical view of all of the above.

Fathers: Will your children, one day, say to their children: "My dad made me laugh. He was a Happy Dad."?

My dad passed away in 1995 at the age of 66. I loved my dad and named my son after him. When I remember my father, I remember him laughing. He laughed a lot. Although life did not treat him well in his last days he passed away with a smile on his face. I remember that during my childhood, he always gave us the opportunity to joke with him. We never felt scared or disrespectful when we joked with him. My mother, on the other hand, was just the opposite. We had to be serious around her.

I do the same with my children. I always make sure they can joke with me. There are always laughter around our home. You might say, Nazareth: “You’re a comedian. There have to be laughter in your home.” Even if I were an accountant, I still want to make sure that there is laughter in my home.

Following are some steps fathers can take to ensure that their kids will remember them as the Happy Dads. (This applies to mothers, and grandparents as well):

1. Make sure you share funny jokes, you heard during the day, with your children when you get home.

2. Watch funny and appropriate YouTube video, that were shared with you, with them.

3. Watch a clean Standup comedy show (DVD) with them.

4. Do some pranks with your children. They will love it. Make sure Mom does not have to clean the mess.

5. Insist that each one of your children share with you at least one funny joke weekly.

6. Add a funny comic strip, or a joke on the refrigerator for your kids to see.

7. Insert Comedy CD’s in your car while you are driving home. It will get you in a better mode right when the kids are waiting to see you.

8. Have a pillow fight with them.

 

Do You Love This Country?

_{Some Americans have a distorted view as to what it means to be a citizen of this great country, apparently not fully understanding the meaning of Patriotism.}

_{Some think that merely putting a flag in front of their home, or placing a bumper sticker on their car -or even wearing red, white, and blue- will make them patriotic.}

 _{That’s far from the truth.  Webster’s Dictionary defines the real meaning of Patriotism as love for or devotion to one's country.} 

_{Love is an action word.  I love my wife.  I don’t demonstrate that by wearing a t-shirt with her picture on it, nor do I put a bumper sticker that says “I love my wife.”  That would be nice, but it will not do much for our marriage.}

_{To love my wife is to show her I love her -to be faithful to her, to actually go out of my way to demonstrate my love.  To bring her flowers, to desire to spend time with her, to treat her with the respect she deserves. To love my country means to be active in doing things that make it better, or at least to maintain the level it is in.}

_{To produce movies that show the world that Americans are divided is not patriotism. To make movies that encourage our future generation to live an immoral life is not patriotism. To change issues we've already voted on for the benefit of very few is not good for this country which prides itself in the right to vote. To look for ‘what can the country do for me,’ to cheat on my taxes, to leave my wife for a younger woman and not pay child support, really cannot be covered-over with a bumper sticker or a flag.  You get the point.}

_{What is Patriotism?} 

 _{I believe that the true meaning of patriotism is to be actively involved in doing what is good for this country. To serve others –to take one day a year to help a fatherless child; to help a Single mother with the things she cannot do by herself; to pay your taxes; to find ways where you can be an asset to this country, not a liability; to work on your marriage; to improve your relationship with your children. That is Patriotism. I'm asking you, my fans and the ones reading this blog, to list one good thing you did for this Country in the last 12 months. I hope that it will encourage others to rethink their patriotism and hopefully be more thankful for all the blessings our country offers. I'm just tired of people complaining about this country and doing selfish things, that can be harmful to the rest, and still wave a flag on the 4th of July.}

 

10 things I'm thankful for today (Hilary, Obama, and McCain)

1. I’m thankful for the IRS for keeping my money with them and away from robbers and identity thieves.

2. I’m thankful for some of our attorneys for keeping people from taking responsibility for their actions.

3. I’m thankful for the guests on the Jerry Springer show. They make me look normal.

4. I’m thankful for telemarketers who keep me from finishing my dinner and therefore stay healthy.

5. I’m thankful for people with perverted life styles for reminding me that I live in a fallen world.

6. I’m thankful for the Airport Security Personal who always force me to run to the terminal to catch my plane.  I need the exercise. 

7. I’m thankful for all the slow drivers on the road that save me from crashing at high speeds.

8. I’m Thankful for Krispy Kream for keeping from being proud of my looks.

9. I’m thankful for Paris Hilton for making me feel smart every time I watch her.

10. I’m thankful for McCain, Hillary, and Obama for making me think that I can even run for president.

The Day It Happened

I still remember Tuesday, September 11, I still remember the day my flight almost caught on fire, on the other hand I remember the day I first saw Maha my Wife.  I remember a lot of other life changing events that happened to me.

I’m sure you do too.  You remember them vividly.  It’s the day you met your spouse, the day you had the accident, the day a loved one died. The day your child was born. The day you broke up with someone you love.

But do you remember that morning right before that special event happened.  What was it like?  You got up in the morning, and you didn’t expect it to be different. 

Some of you reading this are facing challenges and problems and I want you to know that things can change in less than 24 hours. Isn’t that encouraging?

I got up this morning, started my devotions, and quiet time, with no plans for anything to be different.  I hope it won’t but if it does am I ready to face it.  We’ll I think I’m more ready to face the day when I start right with God, that I could be if I didn’t.

Baby Tali Joy

She's here.  Baby Tali Joy was born today November 6th at 12:17 PM. She's 6 Lbs. 4 oz and only 17 inches long.  Why have a 10 Lbs. baby when you can have a Hybrid?  Economy baby with the same powerful vocal cords that can keep you up at night.  This is our 3rd C-section.  I was hoping for a Balcony but hey....I didn't buy my tickets early enough.

Maha is doing great.  She said that this one was her easiest c-section. Once she recovered from the anethtesia I looked her in the eys and with all the passion a husband can offer, I said: "Now that you had the baby, you have no excuse for not cleaning the garage and washing hte car.  It has been 9 months, baby!"

John and Carole are so excited about their baby sister.  I promsied them a Wii when the baby is born.  They thought I was getting them the game Wii, but what I meant is that during the night all they're going to hear is the baby going: "Wii Wii Wii."

So, thank you for all your prayers and I'm so glad the baby was so ocnsiderate of my calendar and decided for me to be in town.

Hawaii

I’m here in Kona, Hawaii. What a beautiful part of the world. People are very nice. They better be. How can you not be nice living in a beautiful place like that?

The reason I came to Hawaii is to help people here use more consonants. They are abusing the vowels. I want to remind them that there are 21 consonants in the Alphabet. They’re only using four or five only. Use the R, the Z, and the T. Cut down on the K, the W, and the H. Some of the vowels are meant to be silent.

Actually I’m here to help a Life Pregnancy center In Kona raise money. I did a comedy show for them last night and had the pleasure to meet Hawaii’s Lieutenant Governor, James,Duke, Aiona. He’s a believer in Jesus Christ and a wonderful guy. I’m off today. Tomorrow I head out to Oahu to teach the Sunday Morning service at a Calvary Chapel church (Love, Inc.) and then a concert in the evening for Calvary Chapel Honolulu. TBN broadcasting is going to tape the event and air it in Hawaii. Pray that it will touch people’s hearts and lives.

I feel bad being here with all the clean air, while my family is in California breathing the smoked filled air. It was horrible when I left California yesterday morning. You cannot roll down your car window or be outdoors. Why do people still use the roll down your car window term? Are there any people that still have cars with roll down windows? If they do, they need to roll down their windows and throw their pagers and their cassette tapes out of the window.

Pray for the people in California, especially the kids with Asthma; people with respiratory problems; people that had to evacuate, and for the ones that lost their homes. I don’t feel funny today breathing clean air while my wife and two kids are breathing smoke. Maha, my wife, is nine months pregnant and I don’t think it’s good for her, or any pregnant woman, to breathe that air. I asked her to stay indoors, but with me gone, it’s hard for her not to go out and buy groceries and other stuff for the house. Please pray that God will focus my ministry in California so I can stay close. Mahalo friends.

Finally friends remember the words of Paul in Philippians 4:8 : "Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

“Busy Airports Miss Fake Bombs in Test”

All the Terrorists need to do is watch our Television programs and read our papers to find out the best Target to hit.  After September 11, 60 minutes had an entire series on our most vulnerable landmarks and sensitive areas. 

I can see an Alquida operative in this Country having a field day sending secrets just by submitting press releases. During World War 1&2 they had spies, secret ink, and Morris Code. Now they have CNN.  I can picture CNN saying the following: "Just send the message through us.  In fact Our Journalists and Newscasters will do the work for you Alquida.  You just hide in the caves and we will do the research for you. Also, tell you leader to stop using the primitive method of communication by sending VHS video tapes to Al-Jazeera TV.  We can produce these videos and send them through the Turner Broadcasting Network."

Today USA Today has this article: “Busy Airports Miss Fake Bombs in Test” and then the article went on to list the airports that had bad security.  I can see Al Zaharawi, 2^nd man in Alquida, saying the following: “On Behalf of Alquida, I want to thank you American Media for making our life easier.  Now if the Travel Channel can only tell us the easiest place to cross the Canadian Border, and the A&E do a program on the best chemicals to mix to make bombs then we’ll be greatly appreciative.” 

School Fundraising Catalogs

The school gave my kids catalogs of Helen Grace Chocolate and gift wrapping for a School Fundraiser. The school gives them a catalog full of chocolate and candy and asks them to go sell it to strangers?   Thank you school. I spent days warning my children about not accepting candy from strangers,

We went to the neighbors to sell them. Only to find out that now my kids are considered solicitors. 

This is what we heard in less than one block of houses:

Our carpet is clean and we don’t have termites. 

You’re a cult and we don’t want to talk to you.

I don’t want your watch tower magazine. 

"My son replied it’s not a watch tower it’s Helen Grace." They answered back.  We don’t want to know about her teachings.

Another neighbor picked two kinds of Chocolate.  My 6 year old, God bless the honesty of the kids, said to him. “Are you sure you need more chocolate?  I said honey you’re a sales person now, you cannot tell the truth.  Just give enough facts and wait.

One neighbor bought some.  But as he was writing the check, his wife stormed downstairs and grabbed the check book from him and said:  “We don’t have any money to spend.  You’re always spending money we don’t have.  What’s wrong with you?” and then she smiled at my daughter and said: No sweetheart.  My husbands have a spending problem.  We don’t want any chocolate today, and shuts the door.  My 9 year old said You don’t need chocolate, you need a different wife. I said: I’ll drop by the E-Harmony catalog tomorrow.

Then another neighbor bought stuff and wanted a proof that we will deliver.  I told him that we are his neighbors and we will deliver it.  He said what if you move before then?

Oh I can picture the conversation with my wife at night: honey let’s sell the house, find a new one, Hire a moving company, so we can con our neighbor of the $7 Chocolate bar.”

People are getting suspicious lately.  Kids today are not as innocent as we used to be.  I promised my daughter something and did the Pinky promise thing, but I guess that’s not enough anymore. She needs another finger promise.

What’s the aspiration for my kids?  If they sell $50,000 worth of chocolate they get a rubber chicken.  Now I have a neighborhood going into a diabetic coma, and having marriage conflicts so my kids can play with a rubber chicken. 

A month later a neighbor is asking: “How’s your kids doing on that fundraiser? Did they get their rubber chicken yet, I got my insulin pump and I’m moving because the wife is keeping the house.”

Honor Killing

I’m so mad and angry to hear of what happened to the Kurdish girl few days ago.  up to 1000 men from the Yezidi Kurdish community of Mosul stoned to death a teenager who's only crime was running away to marry a Muslim man whom she loved and converting to his religion.

For four months the girl had been given shelter by a local Muslim Sheik. It was reported that in the last few days her family persuaded her to return home, convincing her that she had been forgiven by her parents and relatives for her mistake.

I’m ashamed to say that many countries in the Middle East still practice the Honor Killing; Killing their own daughters in the name of honor.  What honor?  Ignorance is what’s taking away your honor you idiots.  The whole world now knows what kind of criminals you are.  So much for your honor.

What kind of ignorant, monsters can do such a thing?  Those idiots have cell phones, and they know how to use the camera phone; how to upload it to the Internet.  I’m assuming they also know how to write and sign a wireless company’s contract.

How can her family allow this? How can a father let such a thing happen to his own daughter? What a difference between the educated people in the West, and some of the ignorant people of the East.  In America we don’t stone our daughters for doing shameful things; we invite them on the Jerry Springer show.